Finding Purpose on Facebook

Going through a friend Jake Okechukwu Effoduh’s Facebook post about purpose and the lack of it thereof, it got me really thinking and I thought to share some of my insights with you. One of the things that stood out from a comment someone posted under it was the fact that if you realize that there is more to your life than yourself, then you have found purpose; it could be speaking to lift the spirits of those broken or helping abused girls find their self-worth, or a myriad other things but the one thing that streamlines it is the fact that you get immeasurable peace that you have in your own little way helped better the lives of others. 

Everybody has a purpose in life; it’s possible to live all your life doing ‘good’ and yet you haven’t exactly lived a day serving your purpose. Its takes the grace of God for you to actually like that which you have been called to do, because most people who find their purpose don’t like it and usually run in opposite directions from their calling. The likes of Moses would give excuses why they couldn’t possibly live up to their purpose – I’m a stammerer, forgetting that the author and finisher of our fate already put all those things into consideration.

Your purpose is what you are best suited for, and if you diligently follow, it would bring you before kings and cause you to constantly find favor in the sight of men. One way to know this is to find that one thing that you are so good at that helps better the lives of others, meeting them at their point of need or bringing them closer to God’s plans for them.

When you find purpose, focus is sharper and distractions are eliminated. Sometimes all hell would break loose to make you deviate from your purpose but you need to remain steadfast – unwavering in your resolve.

I know it might seem like these things that supposedly make up your purpose in life might not necessarily be lucrative, and as such might be frowned up but the truth is that once you make heaven happy your needs on earth would surely be met; there is no investment like that in the things of the Lord. I have never seen a man whose worth was reduced by giving to the church or donating to charity or selfless service to humanity; the laws of seed time and harvest have stood the test of time and would continue – what you sow you will surely reap, most times pressed down shaken together and running over.

According to Jake, he thinks that contrary to what many people think, Life does not need a purpose because life is its own purpose; if the definition of life means exploiting all you’ve got inside, using what you’ve got outside as a tool to make life better for others in one way or another? Then life is indeed purpose.

What do you think? I’d like to hear your views on this Life’s Purpose issue; please use the comment box below. Thanks.

– WS –



a gathering of like minds: the “Outlet”

I can beat my chest and say that last Sunday was indeed an eventful day for me; it was nice being in a gathering of like minds, and I’m grateful to the amazing Bea for inviting me. I had long since hoped that something like this was possible; an avenue when young folks can come together, to converse about any and everything is sure to be enlightening any day. There is nothing like knowledge from sense perception, and not quite close to being able to learn from a pool of other folks personal experiences.

This hangout was packed full with over ten girls and an almost equal number of guys to match that. It is always a plus when there are more ladies than the guys, besides I’ve always loved having females around for topical conversations such as this. They are more exposed than us (the guys) and you can get to learn diverse things from them; a little insight as to how their minds work, and generally what makes a woman’s mind tick.

We had just one married guy in our midst and one married lady plus another who talked like she had been in a relationship so long that she felt she should be accorded marital expertise. For single guys like me, listening to Mr. H talk passionately about his wife and marriage was like some sort of mixer that helped assuage the fear of commitment some of us have.

One of the very scenarios that took me aback was the case of the lady who secretly owns the property she lives in with her family and allows her husband pay rent, and as at when due like other tenants. I’m here thinking about the amount of thought and planning that went into executing this; at what point did they move into this house, and how did she sell the idea to her husband?  I know this would be a deal breaker in any relationship, let alone with a Nigerian couple because it borders around lack of trust and manipulation. If the news of this gets out, it’s almost certain you are about to kiss your marriage goodbye.

This only goes to show you that a woman can do and undo, they could be schemers and a popular saying already states clearly that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

The ladies weren’t left out in the lamentations; in fact they cried foul the loudest, from cases of finding out about your bf’s marriage to another lady from the many pictures of his wedding splattered all over to being invited by the guy you call your own and maybe had sex as recently as a week ago to his own bachelor’s eve.

It hard to tell what turns people in cruel heartless folks; it can’t just be disappointments from your previous relationships, although it was ascertained that even if girls would take out frustrations of her last relationship on the next guy, she relaxes by the time she dates the next one moving forward but the guys remain vindictive and ready to carry that hurt for years and dealing with all the unsuspecting girls that come their way.

On a much lighter note, we had so much fun. As a result of the BYOB indicated on the invite, there were a variety of drinks available, with soft for the ladies and the likes of Hennessy, Wild Turkey American Honey, flavored vodka for the vodka lovers like us and enough mixers to go the distance. Pastries to nibble on weren’t left out either so it is safe to say we had that department covered, plus the booze created an enabling environment for conversations to flow easily cos it helped loosen the tongues of some of us that are otherwise uptight or should I say reserved.

It was also a good opportunity for networking cos after being divided into two groups at the end, to play a game of charades it further helped break the ice just in case the interesting conversations and insights didn’t help do that already. Also during the introductions, folks were made to state their relationships status thus helping narrow down your options just in case you were interested in mingling with anyone.

You can be rest assured, I wouldn’t need to be convinced to attend the next hangout which holds once a month, I’d just need a reminder, the address and I am game.

At what point?

At what point do two people know their paths are to cross?
Is it in the moment you first set eyes on them or when you both have conversed.

Meeting Jane felt like fate or maybe cupid was getting better at his job with utter disregard for prior commitments. Normally that wasn’t my route, even though it might have been hers but nonetheless we were here, in a tricycle (Keke) headed to ShopRite, the large retail store in Apo. Before that unassuming Thursday, I couldn’t remember the last time I was in public transportation, and that only goes to show just how the odds weren’t in our favour about our paths crossing.

She was cute so found myself scoping her but I was just going to let it slide like I always do with every pretty girl I come across but don’t have the balls or see the need to talk to. I got off the keke and made my way to the ATM machine inside the mall.

Standing in line at the ATM, the last thing I expected was some cute girl walking up to me but that was exactly what was happening. In her smooth, soothing voice, she explained that she was sorry for eavesdropping but could solve my ticketing issues as her company towed that line. We exchanged numbers, and even though she didn’t quite help eventually with the ticket, a week down the line we were fast friends.

Talking with her felt just right; I hadn’t had any conversation as fluid in a while, not even with my wife. It felt like she got me completely, and I didn’t have to spend time with details. I knew I was crossing boundaries and it wasn’t with the incessant phone calls or chatting about any and everything, but at that moment when we shared our first kiss; I could literally feel her loose herself in me.

Staying home started to feel like an occupation that I wasn’t so ecstatic about, you know the kind of job you TGIF and dread Mondays? Yeah, that was how it was staying home with my pretty wife Amaka. I’ve always been an outgoing person who found it hard staying in one place for too long, and she was very reserved but I’m sure she must have noticed how distant i was becoming. I loved my baby Amaka no doubts about that, but I needed some excitement, and you know what they say variety is the spice of life? …so I went all out to keep things interesting. From the movie dates, to the weekend trips out of town in the guise of work Jane and I were making exciting memories.

I don’t know how I expect this to end, but I’m waiting to see how karma decides to pay me back. I can’t bring myself to think of my lovely wife Amaka with another guy making her happy and smile incessantly; that would be really be cruel of karma if you ask me, but we all know she’s a bitch.