Alex: Shaking off leeches

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I needed him to delay her a bit.

He was the sharp guy here, not that I don’t count myself as one, but I needed him to buy me 2 hours from the time  he picked her up at the airport, till they got to my apartment in Maitama.

My Girlfriend was coming into town and the only reason I needed to delay her a bit was because I had a leech I had been trying to shake off all week. I am a sucker for fine sexy girls; I know you’re thinking ‘who isn’t’?, but there are folks like my friend Jimmy, who likes them thick…and I mean really BIG. Anyways, what was meant to be a booty call turned into something else and I no longer had to call for it cos it was always there; no leave, no surrender.

It all started from harmless flirting on Insta Msg, till we finally hooked up last Friday after having chatted for over a week; it was a nice experience meeting and conversing with a lady who had an opinion on things that mattered to me, and thus the fluidity of our conversations was epic. Before I knew what was happening, we mutually agreed to continue the seemingly interesting conversation with drinks over at my place as we were trying to get away from all the smoke folks were puffing at the lounge we were at.

If you ask me, I’d say the reason she feels so comfortable and at home with me is because of the fact that I didn’t touch her that night even as she lay slightly inebriated in my bed; the real action started in the morning at about 4 AM. I woke up to someone nibbling softly at my ears and kissing my neck. It was like she didn’t want to wake me up but at the same time wouldn’t mind if she did. I think the right move would be to cut the long story short, cos it was such a wonderful experience and writing about it in details wouldn’t even do it justice.

We spent the whole of Saturday sprawled in bed, watching movies and having intercourse in between; I made us an early dinner, because my signature indomie noodles earlier didn’t quite cut it and before we knew it the whole day was gone. She then insisted on going home to get a change of clothes so we could do church together; not knowing exactly how to respond to that, I obliged her and that’s how her first overnight bag was packed with more than a day’s worth of clothes in it.

I was able to lose her on Tuesday. I told her I was going on an official trip to Eko¹ and wouldn’t be back until Sunday. It’s not like I didn’t like her company or anything, just that I was already missing my space and growing a conscience while at it but Konji² rose its ugly head sometime around Thursday. I made that booty call when I got home from work around 6 PM and in under 2 hours, she arrived with an even bigger overnight bag; I’m sure in the premise that we would spend the weekend together like we did the last time. Only this time, things were different; my girlfriend was coming to town this weekend.

I had known about my baby’s visit to Abuja for about a week now, cos I was in the know she was taking a week off her annual leave to spend some time with me; one would expect that I would have handled my shit prior to her arrival, but Remi was proving stubborn, she didn’t want to be blown off easily. Ada had landed at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport and still, Remi was refusing to buy any of my half-baked excuses; I hadn’t even started cleaning up after her, making sure no stray panties or make-up were lying about.

I hate to term it as the norm for guys in long distant relationships to fool around, but that was fast becoming the trend; I love my Gf no doubt, but sometimes I feel the need to be sexually adventurous.

Now.

I needed him to delay her a bit, lest shit hit the roof.

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Footnotes:

Eko¹: A slang for Lagos State, in Nigeria.

Konji²: Usually used by people of Nigerian descent to describe a state of extreme horniness. Usually only applies to people who have tasted the forbidden fruit before (Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/) 

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Jesus, a true Democrat?

Going through my Facebook page, I came across this post written by Orla Mbiwe and apparently, this was her reply to Facebook’s cliche question “What’s on your mind?”. I thought it insightful enough to share with my WordPress folks. I know it is usually a herculean task to get any one to comment on here, but this would be a good post to start.

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Just going through the scriptures & soaking it in. Jesus may have been a true democrat you know. He believed in respect of authority (which might as well be the three arms of government) and diplomacy to avoid chaos.

“Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” The Pharisees were trying to trap Him. They thought they had an air tight dilemma. If Jesus says “pay the taxes,” it will turn the common people (the people of the land) against Him. It would also turn the zealots against Him. If He said, “don’t pay taxes,” then the Herodians (agents of the king) have it from His mouth that He is fomenting rebellion. If they reported something like that with grounds, the arrest would have happened sooner.

Q “If you are to render to Caesar what bears his image, then what are you to render to God?”
A: “You render to God what bears His image, and what bears the image of God is yourself (Gen 1:26,27).”

It didn’t end there in my thoughts… He would have surmounted the challenges of tribal/ethnic sentiments in these modern times.

Matthew 12:49… And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! 50. “For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.”

Democrats are meant to be people-oriented. Its government of the people. Leaders must be selfless and place the people first to achieve God’s will for them and not abuse power in anyway. So… picture a Jesus… who knew his heavenly affiliation… had a mission to accomplish… had heavenly powers that could make or mar. In his charismatic humility… he allowed himself to be crucified by people he could have chosen to destroy in one breath. Obviously, in these modern times, he would have allowed freedom of expression and shown restraint by not unleashing his powers indiscriminately. A regular person may choose to call him a weakling. Truth is… It takes a lot of admirable courage to show restraint in the face of so much power!!!

“Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” are found in Luke 23:34. Jesus looked down from the cross upon the scene that was most distressing to Him. The Roman soldiers were casting lots for His clothing (John 19:23–24); the criminals on the crosses to either side of Him were reviling Him (Matthew 27:44); the religious leaders were mocking Him (Matthew 27:41–43); and the crowd was blaspheming Him (Matthew 27:39). Jesus looked down upon this most unworthy lot and said, “Father, forgive them.” How could this be? The true face of a democrat.

To be Christ-like is to be humane. To love beyond barriers and to avoid conflict that will endanger others.

Are you a true Democrat?

God bless Nigeria.

Alex: Missing Flights

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Today, I wasn’t going to pack my car at the airport even though I had made plans prior to leave it there any time I travelled, instead of leaving it in the care of a trusted friend or my hyperactive cousin who isn’t as meticulous as I am in maintaining my things; I know I’m not the most organized or careful person I know but, at least I try. You know what they say about the devil you know being better than the angel you don’t? Yeah, that’s my underlining principle.

Anyways, on this particular trip down east, I called Alex my devout taxi man and seeing as I find it hard to keep time, an attribute I am trying hard to rid of my person, you can imagine how efficient Alex who was a stickler for time seems to me; he was outside my office premises before I had shut down my laptop and tidied every other thing that needed my attention.

I didn’t like the idea of traveling on this particular Saturday that had a lot in store for me; I had a colleague’s wedding and a barrage of choirs to attend to. I seriously needed to do my laundry as I was tired of my fire brigade attitude which involved me buying packs of underwear every time I realized I had no clean ones left; my efficient dry-cleaner had the other department under lock-and-key, as no one treated my Hawes & Curtis shirts better than he did and I had even succeeded in introducing a couple of my colleagues to him.

If I had a say in the matter, I’d rather not make this trip and just be sprawled in bed all weekend, trying to catch up on my backlog of movies but I didn’t have that; besides, it was hard not to welcome the travel allowances that helped fund some of my wants. Thanks to God my great provider for paid employment, I had my needs well taken care of; especially with the spate of unemployment in Nigeria and the effect of the dwindling oil prices had on everyone.

I’m sure a lot of folks wouldn’t mind if their bosses made them do things they’d rather not.

Back to Alex; I was cutting it close again as usual, leaving the office at 10:05 AM for an 11:00 AM flight and I wasn’t feeling buoyant enough to pay the rather exorbitant charges for missing and rescheduling my flight. So I needed his expertise today more than ever; I needed him to avoid every hold up while being on his best behavior still, because being alive is all that matters plus making sure your afterlife is in the right place.

I made my flight. He got me to the airport just in time enough to get my boarding pass regardless of the disapproving glances thrown at me by the Arik Air front desk lady. I made my way to the boarding gate and spotted a fine girl I wouldn’t mind striking up a conversation with; if we were for the same flight, it would only mean that we already had something in common: late coming and we could kick off on that note.

Alex: the soji cab man

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Meeting Alex was purely fate setting two people up like it was meant to be ab initio. I met him on some regular day when all I needed was to get somewhere and didn’t know how to. I know technology should have made things easier, with the advent of google maps and all other global positioning systems applications, but I couldn’t take chances this time around. It was already 11 PM and I needed to go see someone urgently in one of the Abuja suburbs, off airport road which is a labyrinth built by the constructions giant in this part of the world, Julius Berger.

Anyways, back to unfolding the story of my first encounter with him; after I had parked my car in front of H-Medix, I tried flagging the first two cabs and on hearing my destination, they immediately declined. BUT Alex was different, he seemed fearless unlike his predecessors, and after agreeing on a price, we were on our way.

He was driving a beat down 1998 Toyota Corolla, but what fascinated me about it was the fact that he kept the interior squeaky clean; he had the cleanest rag I had seen with any cabby¹ and he used it in cleaning his dashboard every now and then. He was in total control of the car at 100Km/Hr and I felt myself relaxing unlike with other folks whom I was always uneasy with their driving (you know how you feel there is never a more careful driver than yourself?); I noticed he didn’t have a rear view mirror, but even that didn’t give me a cause for concern.

We got talking and I became aware of the fact that it was a very dangerous business they were into. I wonder why I had never seen it that way. He recounted several occasions where he encountered armed robbers on the road or a seemingly harmless passenger suddenly produces a gun with intentions of robbing him of all the money he had made that day or depriving him of his means of livelihood: the cab.

Over the years, he had gained from his wealth of experience and has found many ways to do things the right way and has perfected taking precautionary measures. Right there, I realized I had just discovered a wonderful asset and not just a regular taxi guy.

Another fascinating thing about him is that he has lofty dreams: nothing enthralls me more than a man who can see beyond his present situation, looking to the future with renewed vigour every time.

Before the night was over, I was sure I wanted his number and he would be my chauffeur anytime I had to make any impromptu late night trips to places I wasn’t familiar with. I saved his number on my phone as ‘Alex: the Soji² cab man; such numbers could be useful in a number of ways.

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Footnotes

[1] Cabby: Cab driver

[2] Soji: sharp; dexterous, experienced

The 23rd Psalm

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Photo Credit: Google.com

This is an eye opener; some probably never thought nor looked at this Psalm in this way, even though they say it over and over again.

The Lord is my Shepherd
That’s Relationship!

I shall not want
That’s Supply!

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
That’s Rest!

He leadeth me beside the still waters
That’s Refreshment!

He restoreth my soul
That’s Healing!

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
That’s Guidance!

For His name sake
That’s Purpose!

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
That’s Testing!

I will fear no evil
That’s Protection!

For Thou art with me
That’s Faithfulness!

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me
That’s Discipline!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies
That’s Hope!

Thou annointest my head with oil
That’s Consecration!

My cup runneth over
That’s Abundance!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
That’s Blessing!

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
That’s Security!

Forever
That’s Eternity!

Face it, the Lord is crazy about you. God has seen you struggling with something. God says its over. A blessing is coming your way.