Rule Number 1


So as part of ‘The BBM Chronicles’ which I recently started considering more times than not, there is a lot to learn from our messenger contacts through their display messages and pictures, I thought to talk about in passing, the message this particular screenshot was exuding.

It’s OK to always strive to be the best at whatever you set out to do, but it doesn’t always pan out that way. Asides from the mercurial nature of things, it’s a plausible argument to make that in the phase that precedes your rise to the top you had to at some point occupy the #2 position.
Is that Right?
So in essence, the number 2 position is as important as number 1.
I would like to look at #2 as a rite of passage; a phase that is a prerequisite to ascending to your next level.

My friend Kene thinks I got the entire concept wrong, and I told her that I had thought about that prior and was only taking the liberty to explore other plausible scenarios. She thinks the point to this is that, even while you are learning or going through a process, you should strive to be the best you can be; give whatever position you find yourself in your absolute best, even if you are still learning from a top dog. There are many ways to look at the message, she said and we shouldn’t dwell on just one of those.

Considering it’s a lady who put this DP up, let’s assume that she was talking the boy/girl relationships or on the other hand relationships in general, between any two people. It’s commonplace to want to always occupy the number 1 position in your partner’s life as no one ever wants to play the second fiddle; but in a case whereby you find yourself in a rather complicated situation and someone who fits the profile of your ideal partner is with someone else yet seems to have taken a liking to you: what do you do?
They are willing to be friends with you, which is exactly how these things start out and then the possibility of having a little benefit on the side surfaces.

I know the first thought that comes to most of your minds while reading this, is that the benefits are most likely or rather, definitely sexual but there are myriad other benefits that could exist between two friends. It could be the mentally stimulating conversations or emotional cushion for times when things go south, lunch dates, or a few platonic paid vacations just cos you enjoy the company. For me intellectual benefits could be one reason for a mutually beneficial friendship because there is something really exhilarating about interacting with intelligent folks, especially those of the opposite sex. Sapiosexuals unite!

Assuming you had all of this going on, do you immediately withdraw once you sense that regardless of how much fun you both are having, you are still nothing but a second fiddle who’s enjoying the company of someone else’s significant other? Or do you go with the flow and see just how far it goes? Or do you consciously scheme on how to have him/her all to yourself?

I know most of you would say that you aren’t up for any of this, and would rather meet someone single but the truth is most times we think the best ones are already taken. You are more likely to find that perfect person for you by chance or in a friend, who was before then, nothing more than just a fleeting acquaintance.
We don’t choose who we fall in love with and can’t always count on them being single.

What do you think?

Addiction’s Tick Tock

I just came across this poem or something of the sorts 
from three years ago, 
and judging from the time I posted it, 
I have been an insomniac for quite some time. 
I am impressed at my word play and left in awe of myself; 
I used to think I wasn't any good, 
but now I know i'm not half as bad.
It has always been a struggle getting you all 
to comment, 
so I would n't even try this time around. 
September 18, 2012 at 4:03am
It eats at your life 
leeching off you like lice 
always makes you want a slice 
forgetting it comes 
but with a price
That's addiction for you 
A no respect(er) of persons 
Showing up in different forms 
You make rational excuses for some 
Damn the consequences of others
Go with the flow 
care less about what the world thinks
I've got a few 
and they've long set as dew 
like a morning routine mastered with time 
with strict attention to details lettered A to Z
Addiction's like clock work and 
You're always on time 
Creating schemes and making up for lost time. 
In a myriad of wants 
Addiction takes the center stage 
While self will, the back seat.
So I say all this 
Not trying to diss
But(t) in lieu of sense perception
Aimed at freeing the slave within
Attack the very beginning like ancient Benin 
avoiding inmates 
just like everything driven innate 
could be thought a herculean task 
but impossible is nothing 

In this case, 
Surrender isn't a legal tender 
To defeat this or attempt to 
You have to intend to 
With your foot down and stance firm 

& if at some point 
Your stand is wavering, 
At least you stood for something 
and that counts, for everything.
In life 
When you choose your battles 
Don't make enemies you 
are n't ready to deal with 

Victory is for those who fought, 
Don't expect to win sporting folded arms 

My point exactly 
If you don't break a sweat trying to beat something, 
You'd never appreciate the effort 
since it was never applied 
more haste less speed.
Live life one day at a time. 
think thoughts through, thoroughly 
make mistakes, learn from them. 
such little lessons are not taught 
they are caught, 
and only for the swift
It could be a little spliff 
or a one-liner sniff 
A poke or probe 
A bet or love-to-let 
Manage it wisely 
Don't let it consume you 
We are made above everything 
There are not exceptions - Addiction's beneath me

The bitter truth about why you are unemployed

I came across this post on a BlackBerry Messenger Group that I am a part of, and it was very apt in explaining the mercurial nature of the employment scene, especially that of Nigeria. I am a living example of the truth(s) outlined herein, as I am working in a field that is totally unrelated with the course I studied at the university – and you know what: I’m loving every bit of it.

Reading through this would help you develop an open mind, and also aid you in recognizing loads of opportunities in disguise. It would also give you a head start towards developing employable skills outside your discipline and quit looking at your educational qualifications only. 

Ps: it’s not such a rigorous process to drop comments on my blog. I’ve tried to really simplify it, so if anything written herein speaks to you and you want to drop an opinion…please feel free.


Photo Credit:

Photo Credit:

Dear Applicant: Thank you for your letter inquiring about positions in our economics department. At this time, we have no openings. However, I will keep your letter on file should an appropriate job become available.

At least, that’s what I am required to tell you. But here’s what I’d really like to say to you – and to every recent economics graduate who sends me the same letter.

First, I know it’s lousy for bachelor of arts grads looking for a job “in their field.” Twenty years ago, it was lousy for me too. It’s almost always lousy. In a way, it’s kind of supposed to be – a small rite of passage to welcome you into the working world. It’s sort of like being froshed.

But if I may, I would like to offer some advice.

Don’t be too fixated on landing a job “in your field.” The truth is, you don’t yet have a field. In university, you majored in economics, but that may or may not be your eventual field of professional work. The world is full of possibilities; limiting your search to an economist job is a terribly narrow way to start out.

You chose to study economics, which doesn’t necessarily imply that you’ll be an economist. Rather, it implies you have an aptitude for problem solving. You’re probably good at analyzing data. You can see different sides of an argument. And I’ll bet you’re excellent at finding solutions to problems. These are essential skills required in hundreds of rewarding (and lucrative) fields of professional employment.

Your ultimate field may actually be in sales for a biotech firm. It may be analyzing crime statistics for the city police. It may even be a rock star (just ask Mick Jagger). The world is full of “fields.”

What you’re facing is a common problem: BA graduates confuse their major area of study with what they expect to be their eventual careers. It doesn’t matter if it’s a degree in history, film studies, sociology, or comparative feminist literature.

You’ve successfully navigated your way through a four-year degree. Congratulations! That is no small accomplishment. But now you’re embarking on a totally different program of learning – one that will last the rest of your life. It’s called “What am I here for?”

That may sound all spiritual and existential, but don’t let it throw you off. It just means that your challenge from here on is to find what you’re good at, and keep getting better and better at it.

An apology, by the way, on behalf of society. We are sorry if we led you to believe that attending university would land you a good job. That’s not actually true. A polytechnic college will do this – and the job opportunities available right now are fantastic. A good option for you might be to continue post-university studies at a polytechnic.

But your university education, at least at the bachelor of arts level, was never intended to land you a job. It was intended to make you a more complete thinker. It was intended to teach you how to absorb complex information and make reasoned arguments. It was, quite simply, intended to teach you how to learn. Those are skills that you’ll use in any field of work.

Open your mind to all sorts of job possibilities. Don’t be too proud to start out in the service industry, or where you might get your fingernails dirty. Talk to as many people as you can about their career paths. Go live overseas for a year or two. But never, ever, allow yourself to think you’ve wasted your time in university if you don’t land a job as an economist.

Meanwhile, be encouraged and stay positive. And yes, I will keep your letter on file. But my guess is that when a position in my economics group eventually opens up, you’ll no longer be available.

Failure isn’t Final


Life and living is all about taking risks. It’s better to have tried and failed, than to live with the uncertainty of what could have been.

When ever the talk of failure and giving up comes up, I can’t help but remember the likes of Thomas Edison the American Inventor, and the many times he failed before he succeeded.

It is all about persistence, learning from your mistakes, taking more calculated risks and success might just be lurking at your next turn.