The Senior Pastor at Family Worship Centre, Abuja recently started a series themed ‘Making QUALITY Decisions’ and I was blessed by most of the sessions, so i felt compelled to share. This one coincided with Valentine’s Day, the day set aside for loved ones; what better day to give useful insight into choosing the right partner.
First and foremost, it is part of God’s divine plan for you is to marry the suitable partner; His plan for you is definitely not to marry an unbeliever.
What is Average?
Average is typical, common and ordinary (the usual stuff; the norm); It’s highly pertinent that you do not marry an average mate, because managing a marriage is akin to living in eternal bondage.
Why would you choose to manage an average life when you can have the fairy tale life? You need to resolve personally the kind of life you want.
How do you have an above average marriage?
Know who and ‘whose’ you are!
First and foremost, you are a child of God and as such should enjoy the best out of life. Secondly, you should know your self-worth so as to place a value on your stands.
You must be above average
Strive to be whole, not lacking in anything: you need to be complete so as to complement your spouse
You must be a person of purpose, vision and mission
Know what the bible says about choosing a mate; follow biblical guidelines. Try as much as possible to walk in God’s plan and purpose for your life; He is indeed the architect of our fate.
You must seek God’s face and guidance when choosing whom to marry; fast and pray fervently.
It is very necessary to know what you want, so you don’t get what you don’t want; and vice versa.
(As a child of God you deserve to have an abundant life)
Your husband and wife don’t exist in the magazine world.
Those you see and drool over only exist in the world of make belief. A number of professionals have worked tirelessly to bring about the finished product you see.
Get all the information you need about choosing a mate; read pre-marital books, do extensive research.
Talk to couples who have had successful marriages and learn from the mistakes of those who have had unsuccessful ones.
Tell-tale signs to watch out for when choosing a mate?
Hot temper
Don’t befriend anyone who doesn’t have a job (they could easily be a liability than the ideal mate)
A woman naturally shouldn’t be older than the man
(Only one in a few cases does the exception become the rule)
If your mate isn’t proud of you i.e. isn’t eager to take you out, ecstatic about showing you to his/her family and friends…take a hike.
(Folks like this prefer staying with you indoors)
Make sure they get the license before you let them drive your car;
Sex before marriage has the potential to destroy the perfect relationship.
Don’t date or marry somebody just because they are cute, beautiful or handsome.
Physical appearances fade, be more in tune to inward beauty and personality
Don’t marry people because they are rich and famous.
Making money or fame your determining factor has never been a wise move in any venture, and same goes for marriage too. Its takes you too far away from what really matters.
Be very slow to marry someone who is divorced;
More times than not, you only get to hear one side of the story thus giving up the chance of making informed decisions.
Be careful if and when you decide to marry a widow or widower.
Ask all the right questions, and don’t rush into anything. Most times its harder to get their families/kids to accept you than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.
What to look out for?
Seek a man with purpose
Seek a woman who is hard working, respects and honours you.
Love, just like a marriage is a too way street. Find a woman who is equally as hard working as you are to complement the efforts you are making to move your family forward. One shall chase a thousand but two shall chase ten thousand; do the maths.
Do not choose a mate when your emotions are heightened.
Experience has shown that we don’t make the best of decisions when our emotions are in the way. Don’t make decisions in a hurry and
Don’t marry or choose a partner out of pressure.
For women there is a window to marry (between the age of 21 and 30). When and if you miss that, it isn’t an avenue to fret instead start praying to God and believe He will perfect all things in His time.
With Christians opportunity doesn’t knock only once; if you seek out to do above average, God will surely give you above average
Know the person you want to marry from the inside out, so you don’t meet surprises.
Check their families first; in Africa you don’t just marry the person, but their family also.
If you don’t like something about a person, don’t expect you can change that in marriage.
Don’t make the decision to marry alone.
Seek advice from family and those you consider your close friends, who would always give you their unbiased opinion in your best interest.
Don’t be anyone’s resting place
Some folks are in the habit of looking for partners to hinge on to as their life support, cross their legs and are reading to live off you without planning on bringing anything positive to the table
How does your intended spouse fulfil the Kingdom’s purpose?
Is he/she going to help you be a better Christian or fulfil God’s plan and purposes for your life?
Find someone who complements you;
Locate your other side of the coin; your better half. One who helps brings out the best in you, helping supplement in areas where you are lacking.
Blood Group:
If you partner is AS and you are too, take a hike; it makes no sense to go ahead with the marriage and then bring a child in that is weak, and subjected to pain a lot. Also the health implications would help drain your finances
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