FWC & the dangers of having one talent

Thanks for taking out time again click on the link I shared or just plain old visiting my blog. I know you didn’t need to but I’m glad you did all the same. As is my M.O when I experience a life changing sermon at the ever wonderful Family Worship Centre Abuja, I am always quick to share it with folks I consider friends since we all are striving to become better people.

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Msg: The danger of having one talent (Day 13)
Pst. Wale Afelumo

Let’s start by defining a Talent: a natural ability or aptitude; a capacity for achievement or success, Gifts, aptitude, congenital blessings, and life changing abilities. Also, culled from a parable in the bible in Matt 25:14-30, a power of mind or body considered as given to a person for use and improvement.

The five talent person is born with natural intelligence (innate), and most times born with a silver spoon. They seem to have everything going on for them and outlined below are some of the obvious characteristics of this kind of person.
They are:

  • Awake to opportunities (they see opportunities on every situation, because they have exposure working for them)
  • Generate ideas, and have a mind-set that can create something out of nothing
  • They are adventurers and risk takers
  • Profit minded,
  • business minded, growth, increase
  • They are workers
  • Traders (they see the profit side of buying and selling easily)
  • Always trying to enhances whatever they get

The one talent person is that one not born with a proud pedigree, no good head start in life, no natural intelligence and not gifted in many things – perhaps even went to school late.

Outlined below are some of the characteristics of the one talent person.

  • they are unimaginative
  • Plays it safe always and never takes risks, even a calculated one.
  • They are idlers
  • Possess the ‘Consumer Mentality’

How to know a one talent or five talent person or nation is not by where they are coming from, but rather in how they think; their capacity to think big and actualize their dreams plays a defining. Your story could have started out with ‘One Talent’ taking the preface but you can turn it into a 100 talents regardless.

Don’t allow where you’re coming from to stop you; God has chosen the foolish things of the world to conform the wise.

We’re going to be outlining the ‘Dangers of having one talent

#1
The temptation to despise what you have (1 Tim 4:12)

There is always the tendency to despise the days of your humble beginning. You’re a quick to rubbish the life you were born into forgetting that those experiences just might have been the building blocks for the great man you are to become tomorrow.

It is also very important not to let anybody look down on you and don’t look down on yourself either; you are as far as your mind can see and personally I don’t entertain belittling thoughts or aspersions by anyone. In your mind’s eye, you should see in you the greatest man that ever walked the face of the earth.

Some of us are street smart but are too busy despising the situations and experiences that led us to that, that we fail to see the opportunities that lie in disguise. Some rich folks, those born with the proverbial silver spoon most times are not privy to the level of articulation you take for granted; your IQ is an accumulation your personal experiences and it’s a known fact that the best experience is that from sense perception.

#2
The comparison and envy (2 Corinthians 10:12)

If you are in the business of comparing yourself to others, you are unarguably a one talent person and need to change that mindset. You think because someone is in a better job, dresses better and seems to have everything going on for them that they are better than you are?

Things are not always what they seem and just in case that doesn’t help in buttressing this, know that every man was created different and we are unique in our diversity. Be more inclined to embarking on the path less traveled, than walking in other people’s footsteps because the only thing you would achieve is being second best at most, and seeing as different strokes for different folks, you just might fail woefully where others or someone else succeeds.

#3

The temptation of bitterness

You are likely to interpret your one talent to mean that God loves you less, hence secretly complaining about God and forming bad opinions of him. We get bitter at our parents for the live we are subjected to and are envious of people who are making it; this only shows you are a one talent person.

#4

Temptations of idleness and mediocrity

Many one talent people easily give up on life and end up not giving their best shot at whatever they do.

With a looming lack of purpose, it is easy to waste meaningful time that could have been otherwise channeled into something else.

#5

The temptations of lack of productivity

If you can write and you don’t, it would not benefit anybody and you won’t gain anything from it. One of the dangers of having one talent is that it blinds our eyes to opportunities and we end up being unproductive. Instead, look at where you are as your starting point and not your final bus stop, this would help in making you more productive.

All is not lost, you can physically have one talent but have a five talent mind-set and this has the tendency to grow beyond your imaginations.

Whatever God has blessed you with has the capacity to grow.

Your history has no final say on your destiny. Where you are should not stop you from going where you want to.

It’s all in your mind-set and perception.

Don’t give up on your gifts. Never despise your natural flair.

If you believe in it, out of your belly shall flow rivers of life. Put to use what God has given you.

Don’t bury your talents.

It would be your key to something great this year 2015.

Here are a few questions I would like to leave us all here with:

  • What talents have I been given?
  • Why are talents given?
  • Have u developed them?
  • Which or how many have I developed?
  • Which of them have I buried in the ground?
  • Which of them can make me known?
  • Which of them can impact lives and increase God’s
    Kingdom?
  • Which of them can generate income?
  • What am I doing to hone them or cook them?
  • What am I doing to improve them?
  • Am I in a place where I can deploy them?
  • Am I with the people who would be glad to pay for
    what I have?

It’s time to introspect and answer these questions.

Wishing you all a productive 2015

– Creativity increases by using what you have –

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Being Morally Upright: a herculean task or not?

Sitting in my living room, eating and relishing this delectable plate of ogbono soup made by yours truly, I couldn’t help but entertain the usual thought that often occupies my mind: what business do I have with an exclusive relationship yet alone marriage, if I can cater to most of my needs?

Of course there are needs I can’t fulfil, like sexual satisfaction but that’s the beauty of not being in a relationship cos this way, you have a wide array of options to choose from. Or so it seems.

If you’re TDH like myself, getting the girls should come easily to you though with more sophisticated ladies, you need more than just good looks; again good for me, as I’ve got more to my persona than just my looks so you’re pretty much on your own if you lack substance and finesse.

Again more times than not, my culinary skills has been an added advantage. Most ladies coo at the fact that I can cook myself an array of decent meals and just get drawn to the mere prospects of having me cook for them. The less daring ones who are subtle in their flirting would ask when I would get around to cooking for them at my place, while others would think up ways to lure me their way where they obviously have home ground advantage.

Last week I was at Nkem’s place to visit and make do on my promise of cooking her a nice pot of my signature Egusi soup; as earlier agreed, she had already bought all the ingredients, chopped the veggies and steamed the meat but I never got around to doing that. Y? I met her in quite a chirpy mood and she insisted we cracked open a bottle of red wine she had gotten to accompany the food while we gisted. One thing led to another and though I’m sure I was fine as 12.5% couldn’t do much to me, I guess she just needed an excuse to loosen up; we were kissing, and in no time I was suckling one breast and kneading the other.

Good thing from experience, I already expected this so I had a condom in my wallet; no way was I going to be caught unawares, as literally aids no Dey show for face. After about two rounds of sex we were both spent and food was the last thing on either of our minds. Yh you heard right, I said two rounds! I can fit two condoms in there, that’s why my wallet is always so bulky; it’s not like I got all the money in the world in there.

There are times when you crave attention from that special one and all these pretty ladies calling doesn’t quite cut it, but is that a valid reason to want to get into an exclusive relationship with someone? I don’t know much about this, but I frankly think it’d be wrong to date someone for selfish reasons. I was gonna ask Rukky out cos I felt she was interesting and fun to be with, not forgetting to mention the part that she seemed to genuinely like/want me all to herself. This was me being selfish again, I hadn’t stopped to think if I was the right guy for her or if I’d Atleast try to be, I was just busy thinking about me and all I’d benefit from the relationship.

So instead of being penned the bad guy a few weeks down the line from asking her out, I decided to feign ignorance of the subtle hints she was dropping and continue in the friends-with-benefits zone. It’s a hard knock life most times for the ladies out there cos what could possibly compel a guy to buy it, if he is already getting it for free? And if you hold back for too long, he gets tired of chasing and moves on.

It’s best to be of good morals and try to do things the Godly way. Don’t indulge in sex out of wedlock, though I know it’s harder once you’ve tasted what’s in the honey pot but remember that having one two many sexual partners would further compound your problems; asides from the body count which seems to matter more with ladies, there’s the issue of sexual transmitted diseases and missing periods. Plus sex is a comingling of spirits as it is of bodies. You could pick up traits or bad luck from someone without even knowing it.

I know what you’re thinking. I should stop preaching to the choir and remove the log in my own eyes? Yh, I have an active conscience so I think about these things too and even though I like to go through pictures on girls phones to make sure they ain’t marine spirits and the likes of it, you can never be too sure. I know it aint easily being morally upright but it also isn’t a herculean task either.

Cheers.

they call it ‘See Finish’

A new toy to a kid, affection between new lovebirds (puppy love), gadget to a tech freak and the lot can be really overwhelming at first. For the first few days/weeks or even maybe months, thoughts of them are utmost in our minds and we’d give them just about everything plus our rapt attention.

The flip side to this is that humans could be fickle (Fickle: changing frequently, especially as regards one’s loyalties or affections). Ermm, I’d rather say human emotions are fickle; feelings could experience a steady rise for a relatively long time and take a nose dive the next minute. Maintaining a certain level of interest takes time and commitment.

Just like a candle lit needs oxygen in the air to sustain itself so does it apply to everything new? It is highly pertinent that you become innovative to keep your interest constantly piqued by that which used to have your attention.

New flames like new toys give us the thrills and we absolutely can’t wait to show them off. Most times we take to the social media splattering pictures and ‘selfies’ with them for the whole world to see, and not having a care in the world.

This isn’t just about people or things. Even a new job excites you; you’re quick to get up in the morning and eager to be counted as one of those gainfully employed, but over time you lose that passion cos you have gotten so used to it that it becomes a routine that you’re not eager to return to.

I remember when I first started at my job; I felt it was the best thing that happened to me and things couldn’t possibly get any better. Months down the line, I noticed I no longer prepped days in advance, shirts and matching pants for the week; waking up at 6:30am now felt like I was overzealous and a couple of more months down the line, I constantly thought to myself, ‘is this all there could be to me?’. My Interest started dwindling, and I hard to remind myself that I should be grateful; a host of other graduates walked the streets of major cities looking for jobs, with the soles of their shoes flattened out by wear & tear whilst frustration became their closest companion.

The major crux of the matter is that in whatever new thing that piques your interest, maintaining that feeling with the same intensity as it was in the beginning is very crucial (if you ever genuinely cared)

How do you sustain your interest when you become too familiar with a person or thing? For human beings, it is different; we evolve, we change as a result of the circumstances that hit us in our everyday lives. We lose, gain and acquire new interests and sometimes even return right back to those same things we thought we had done away with. Sigh!!! It is hard to stay the same way, change really is constant. It’s easier with things (gadgets, fashion trends and the likes) because with them and with time comes a distinct change in value; the things that were in vogue years ago have been overtaken by events and can’t spark any interests within us..

Basically, I think when dealing with people you should endeavour to look beyond the physical attributes and look at things for their true value to you cos loyalty is staying true; commitment is paramount. It involves putting in your time, displaying due diligence and having faith (uncanny belief) in that person even when it doesn’t seem remotely like it. This goes way beyond a feeling or attraction and truth be told, flames don’t burn forever.

We need to make a conscious effort to stay committed because frankly, we will always desire something new; it is part of our human nature, but we can’t treat our relationships with people as we’d do with gadgets, toys, or a new skill we learnt cos these would definitely be forgiving, maybe not even knowing they have been replaced, but it would sting and stick with an actual person.

Actions don’t define you

I was reading through my ‘Joyce Meyer’s: Promises for your Everyday Life’ devotion today on my Youversion Bible and I just thought to share it with you. I hope it helps someone get the clarity I did; my actions don’t define me and my past doesn’t matter…just my future in Christ.

Topic: Separate Your ‘Who’ from Your ‘Do’

I’ve made mistakes in my life, and I’m sure I’ll make mistakes in the future, but I still like myself. The fact is, I don’t do everything right all the time, but that doesn’t affect who I am. I know I’m loved and I’m still a good person. That’s because I’ve learned to separate my ‘who,’ new creature in Christ, from my ‘do.’

When you realize that what you ‘do’ doesn’t determine ‘who’ you are, you can experience a new level of freedom from shame.

When you know that God likes you, you can start to really like yourself. When you start to like yourself, other people begin to like you too. Liking yourself doesn’t mean you’re full of pride; it simply means you accept yourself as the person God created you to be.

We all need changes in our behavior, but accepting ourselves as God’s creation is vital to our progress in becoming an emotionally healthy person. If we can master this one thing, liking ourselves, it will work wonders in helping us to overcome a shame-based nature.

Prayer Starter: Holy Spirit, help me to separate my ‘do’ from my ‘who’. I can like myself and experience freedom from shame because You are constantly working in my life.

The Death In ‘Till Death’

Let’s talk about death in relationships.

 

When the man-of-God who’s joining the couple says ‘till death do you part’ I’m sure he means death as in ‘Grim Reaper’ and related subjects. Death; as in the end of physical life.

 

But as we’ve come to learn, physical death is the least responsible for ending so many marriages marriages nowadays, no?

 

Let’s consider death in other forms – death of other things. Things that were once exciting – and suddenly are not as exciting as they used to be.  When the sight of her body no longer sends you into the mindless frenzy it used to – when his snore and one-pack become the two most annoying things you know.

 

When we just want to say ‘you know what? This is no longer working for me’.

 

In recent times we’ve witnessed more weddings than university students around here have attended lectures. We also know of the tales of woe that abound – tales that make marriage sound like a badly written Stephen King novel. And little by little, slowly but steadily, a happy marriage is starting to look and sound like a myth.

 

We all know there are happy marriages – just as we know there are still virgins (word to Chidinma) but the thing is – these things hardly; if ever get celebrated. No one made the cover of The Daily Sun for being a faithful husband or wife! We’re more likely to read about ‘Pastor Impregnates Wife’s Younger Sister’ than ‘Couple Celebrate Twenty Years Of Marital Bliss’.

 

And even if we did read that, most of us will probably ‘yimu’ and go ‘na lie jo’.

 

Now, what happened to make us so disillusioned about getting married?

 

I think we happened.

 

WE. YOU and ME.

 

We simply stopped taking each other seriously.

 

Someone said something somewhere ‘If we took our romantic lives as seriously as we took our professional lives, we would be lots happier’.

 

Whoa.

 

husband

Death Is A Woman…At Times. Courtesy Google

 

Pause.

Consider the picture.

 

Remember that Pacesetter novel ‘Death Is a Woman’?

But then, let’s keep moving.

 

The vow says ‘till death do you part’. The picture depicts one way death can come into marriage, right?

Now let’s consider the thought that ‘anything not growing is dead’.

 

Ever flipped through your CV and noticed that for a while, nothing new has been added to it? And then you thought about getting a new job, a new degree, a new experience – something to make the CV fuller and richer?

 

Can we think about our relationships in those terms?

 

Relationships in which both partners are individually and collectively thinking of new ways to grow; individually and together.

 

I won’t lie. I used to think the hardest part was ‘getting the girl’.

But then, as I grew older that part of it became progressively easier until – and then I had a reality check.

The hardest part is making her stay.

I mean really. I had to ask myself; why should she stay with you?

 

Do you know anyone on any planet or in any reality who likes stale food?

Men want to talk about how men are natural breeders and how men get bored with just one woman. Hello bro. Wake up and smell the coffee  – you’re not the only one stuck with her; she’s also stuck with you!

Make it worth her while.

 

A friend of mine is taking belly-dancing classes. And when I asked her why, she said ‘you never know with men. It’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it’.

 

Okay. Maybe belly dancing is kind of awkward if you’re a guy (or maybe not); you can learn how to wash her hair. Learn how to make new dishes regularly. Take her to Dubai (these things are not as expensive as we think!).  Be interested in her career – things that matter to her. Come home one day and say ‘I was browsing and saw this online course I think you would be interested in. I already subscribed for the brochure; but if you don’t like we can cancel’.

 

It’s far beyond ‘dinner and a movie’ these days o. Real.

 

 

It’s beyond lying-back-and-letting-the-partner-do-all-the-work. There’s as much competition for men’s attention as there is for women now. We’ve all heard the ‘sleeping-with-his-wife’s-best-friend’ story. Maybe the man was greedy and so on – but where was the wife in the midst of all that?

 

There’s more to infidelity than sleeping around. And sometimes, the sex is just a by-product; the visible results of some other things. We see the sex, so we just think it was lust. And in some cases it was/is just that. Lust.

 

But in some other cases…

 

If we spent more time enriching each other – our partners, friends, spouses – whatever people we have around us, don’t we think things would be easier for all concerned? Don’t we think we would have less of short-term marriages and actually have more people committed to improving themselves and each other?

 

In Social Studies we learnt the smallest unit of society is the family (or something close). Don’t we think that’s another place a better Nigeria can start from?

I’m just saying.

But I do know this – it’s impossible to do something nice for someone else and not be touched ourselves.

 

Let’s blow the dust off that record, folks. Let’s get to know each other all over again.

 

I’m Seun Odukoya. It is a pleasure having you here.

Thank you.

 

What do you think? What other ways do you think death come into relationships? Looking forward to reading your opinion!

 

Have a blessed week.

 

This wonderful piece was written by Seun Odukoya (  http://seunodukoya.wordpress.com/  ). He is one of the most brilliant and articulate writer i have ever encountered. His blog is somewhere i look forward to going to everyday. I’m an ardent follower of his and just thought to bless you all with this piece. Big Thanks to him too for letting me Re-Blog this. Find the Original PostHEre: http://seunodukoya.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/the-death-in-till-death/

An indepth look @ John 3:16

For God (the Supreme Being, King of Kings, Alpha & Omega) so loved (prized, valued, esteemed, treasured) the world (creation, ecosphere), that He gave (offered, donated, bequeathed, contributed) His only (one, single) begotten (created, produced) son (descendant, child); that whosoever (anyone) believes (has faith in, is confident in, accepts as true) in Him, shall (will) not die (expire, perish, pass away) but have eternal (everlasting, perpetual, timeless) life (existence)

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I just discovered an interesting (stimulating, thought-provoking) new way to look at the word (expressions, intentions) of God and basically anything else, to get in totality (full amount, entirety) new meanings embedded (implanted, rooted) within words and passages we are ordinarily accustomed (familiar) to.

Words normally aren’t  enough; let’s supplement with ACTIONS

WHAT DOES A MAN WANT IN HIS WIFE??

wife&hussyHey folks,

I’m here to share some excerpts from a Sunday service at the family Worship Centre in Wuye, Abuja. It was both edifying and educative; so I thought to enlighten us a bit, though I’m sure I wouldn’t do much justice to it.

TOPIC: WHAT A MAN WANTS IN HIS WIFE

No1: He wants respect and submission.

At the forefronts of what a man wants in a wife, is SUBMISSION and the bible makes that clear in the bible.

Ephesians 5:22-24  

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit fin everything to their husbands.

We understand that you love us, if you respect us. We want your respect in private and in public. For a man, respect is somewhat connected to his sexual appetite.

No2: He doesn’t want to be constantly reminded that you are better than him.

If for any reason you are earning more than your man, or are better placed than he is, please try and not rub it in his face lest it is likened to emasculating him.

No3: He wants sex as much as possible

Healthy and adequate sex builds intimacy in a marriage; it breeds happier couples. I also think it is worthy of note, to point out that when sex goes or gradually becomes extinct in a marriage, the joy in it also does.

Proverbs 5: 18-19

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

Wives, sex shouldn’t be for manipulation or for reward purposes; I’m sure your husbands would lose their affinity for sex with you if they see it only as a tool for manipulation. There are other ways to get your husband to do what you want; you have his heart, perfect navigating around it to your advantage.

No4: He wants to know he is more important than your parents or siblings

Your husband wants to know at all times that he is number one in your life, heart and thoughts.

Also, you have to keep this in mind at all times; if you sell your husband short before your family and siblings, they would never value him.

No5: he wants you to constantly improve how you look.

–         Men have a visual library in their minds: give him something to remember always, especially when he is on long trips away from home.

–         Men are visually stimulated; if we like what we see, you would like what you get.

–         The way a woman looks, is the reflection of your husband; don’t fall his hand.

No6: He wants to have productive and objective discussions with you

Men would like to have conversations with their wives that are devoid of so much emotion. We would like to discuss work, problems we are experiencing as regards business and life as it concerns us. Emotions becloud that objective sense of reasoning.

No7: He wants you to have kindness on your tongue.

Proverbs 21: 19

It is better to live in a desert land, than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

  • Men secretly deal with self-doubt; don’t compound issues he is facing, with your harsh mouth.
  • Praise him, lift him up – compliment him always. Reaffirm continually that he is just right for you.

He, who has grace on his lips, will have the king as a friend. (Esther 8:5)

No8: HE wants a prudent wife; one that would manage money well.

It’s no news that a prudent wife is a gift from the Lord.

Synonyms of Prudent: discreet, sensible, wise, careful, cautious and farsighted.

All that aside, let’s takes the highlights:

A clean house can be taken care of; your husband wants you primarily for himself…for love, care, sex, upliftment and more sex.